I'm sorry guys, but I need to post this. I'm in the mood to rant.
I might lose a few watchers after this, but I don't really give a shit.
I've been put in a pissy mood today, so I figured it's the best time to get my feelings out about one particular subject: CGI Chipmunks.
I can never post my full opinion on them anywhere, because I don't want to get into trouble or offend anyone. But this is MY dA account, so I can post MY opinion and it won't matter.
I absolutely, with all my heart, DESPISE CGI Chipmunks. There is nothing in this fandom more revolting(other than, say, chipmunks turned into humans).
It's absolutely impossible to express how much I hate them.
CGI RUINED The Chipmunks and Chipettes.
What did they do? They took the characters we all loved and slapped fur on them and made them tiny and fucked up their eye colors and destroyed their personalities.
Here is a list of reasons I hate CGI:
1. Eye colors. This is a HUGE issue for me. Bigger than anything. HUGE. I FUCKING HATE WHAT THEY DID TO ALVIN, JEANETTE, AND ELEANOR'S EYE COLORS IN THE CGI MOVIES. Alvin is supposed to have BLUE eyes, not BROWN. BLUE. I ADORE Alvin's blue eyes. Jeanette needs green eyes, not purple. That's not even a natural eye color! Nobody has purple eyes! That's like saying they should give Alvin red eyes and Brittany pink eyes. Just...just...ew. Eleanor's eyes are supposed to be brown, not green. They made CGI Eleanor even more like Theodore than she already was.
Which brings me to my next ranting subject, Eleanor.
2. Eleanor in CGI. Okay, what the FUCK did they do with my little badass Chipette who don't take no shit? Oh, she's 'bubbly' and 'innocent' now? So she's Theodore with pigtails? Alright then, fuck you. There is SO much wrong with Eleanor in CGI. They killed her personality. She might as well not even be in the CGI movies, because that sure as hell isn't Eleanor. In The Squeakuel, with the whole 'you need to work on being taller' thing, Eleanor would never take that! She'd stand up for herself. She wouldn't take Ian's shit. Where did she go? Why is she so innocent and lame now? Why is she just like Theodore? Why? WHY? THIS IS WHY SO MANY PEOPLE THINK THE CHIPETTES ARE JUST FEMALE CLONES OF THE CHIPMUNKS.
3. The Chipettes. I already ranted about Eleanor, because she deserved her own rant bubble to make up for how much they screwed with her, but Brittany and Jeanette aren't all that untampered with either. Brittany is known for her bitchiness. I want bitchy Brittany. That's why I like her, that's her personality. She's a bitch. She should always be a bitch who will do anything to win. That's how she is. Sure, she had her sweet moments in the cartoon, but that doesn't change the fact that she would do anything to be on top, to be in the spotlight. She came back a little in Chipwrecked, but she still wasn't the Brittany I know. I want her back. And Jeanette, poor, sweet Jeanette. She didn't deserve to be fucked with like that. One of the few lines she said in The Squeakuel pisses me off more than ANYTHING on this EARTH. "I'm Jeanette, but sometimes I feel more like an Olivia." <---What the fuck is this? Seriously, what the fuck? That doesn't make any sense. What the fuck is it supposed to even mean? I don't get it. And they took away her clumsiness. Jeanette was known for that, where is it?
4. Simon's nose. I tell you, Simon's nose in CGI annoys the crap out of me. It's so big and...ugly. Even back before I was really into The Chipmunks and had never seen much of the cartoon, when watching the CGI, Simon was still my favorite, but I still hated his nose. Seriously, what the heck is up with it? It's disgusting.
5. The lame jokes in the first movie. Okay, I hate the first CGI movie above them all because they look the stupidest in it AND because of the lame jokes. Eating poop, a raisin, REALLY? REALLY? Is that supposed to be funny? Because it isn't, it's gross. So is Alvin farting in Dave's face.
6. Alvin's cap. .....................Okay, The Alvin Seville I know never goes anywhere without his trusty red baseball cap. Heck, there's even an episode of the cartoon where he goes batshit crazy when he looses it, so why would anyone want to take it away from him? Alvin isn't Alvin without his cap. Sure, there are those like, two minutes at the end of one of the movies where he has it on, but that's the end and they didn't bring it back. He even has it on some of the hideously ugly posters they have for them. So why? Why isn't it there? Why did you take one of the things that makes him Alvin?
7. The Chipmunks backstory. Okay, I fucking hate the whole "Our parents were hippies, they left early to join a commune." thing. That is NOT what happened. Why did they fuck with the adorable backstory that they had in the cartoon? I adore Vinny, and taking her away and giving her this...IMAGE, annoys the hell out of me. The Chipmunks were supposed to be abandoned as babies because their mother couldn't take care of them because of the harsh weather. Their parents did NOT leave them because they were hippies. That's really, really, exceedingly stupid.
8. Alvin and Simon's ages. Okay, any cartoon fan knows that Alvin is the oldest by 5 minutes. There is proof here, in one of my favorite clips: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lEXuk…
. In the CGI movies, apparently, Simon is oldest by one: fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/201…
. What the fuck, man? Why would they do that? Alvin is supposed to be the oldest. His personality goes great with that fact. Why would they I change that? Why?
9. The models they use on posters, products, etc; These aren't the same ones they use in the movies, and they're always in awkward, stupid poses. They never do look right. In a lot of them they took human hands and upper bodies and added fur onto them and stuck one of the 'munks heads on there. It looks so...WRONG. and out of proportion. I tell you, these people are HORRIBLE at photoshop. Take this poster for example: www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/…
Notice Alvin's arms, especially. They are human arms. They don't match, and they look stupid. He's the worst off in that one, but the rest of them are like that too. And this one too: 2.bp.blogspot.com/-qqKmr9HLn_w…
Seriously, what the heck? It's so fucking ugly. They aren't even that ugly in the movies.
10. The way they look. Sigh, if only they weren't so small and ugly and rodent looking. If only they didn't have tails and stupid looking fur and lame outfits and eye colors and stupid faces and had their butts hanging out of their clothes. Oh well, we can dream, can't we?
EDIT ADDING MORE RANTING:
SIMON IS NOT FUCKING STUPID WHY DID HE GIVE DAVE A FUCKING PAPERCLIP COMPASS WTF THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THEODORE WOULD DO FUCKING UGH. /endrant